In a shopping street I came across this strange sign:
"Love is…knowing that we're in this together"
This sentence gives many people a melancholy reaction. A melancholic feeling of being connected, you and I, we are in this suffering together and we can handle it. We are enduring this intense situation. Together we can take on the whole world, because in this, where 'this' refers to, we are together. And that is love.
Of course it is very nice if people can support each other in a difficult life situation. But things get ugly when this support then becomes a prerequisite for love. Unnoticed, what is usually experienced as support and love is a disguised form of guilt. Having experienced a difficult situation together creates a sense of duty to stay with the other person (or with the group). It is no longer allowed to leave, because 'this' has just been experienced. Guilt becomes the basis for staying with the other person, not love. If someone would like to free themselves from a relationship in which difficult circumstances are experienced, the specific 'this' situation can be used as the strongest argument against leaving. Then comes the unmasking of 'love' and guilt becomes clear.
Being free from the guilt that is deeply buried in relationships will make your heart dance open to real love again.
If you look at your (love) relationships with an open, critical eye, you will see that there is always guilt hidden behind the curtain of 'love'. And this is not wrong or bad! It's human, but it causes suffering in relationships. Being free from the guilt that is deeply buried in relationships will make your heart dance open to real love again. True love is releasing each other, forgiving each other, ridding yourself and the other of guilt and letting someone go where he or she wants. Of course, this does not mean that all people should separate, but it does mean that when people are together, they are of their own free will, in freedom and in love. That same real, free love continuously lets go of the other, even despite 'this'.
If you feel the need to talk about your relationships, make an appointment with Mindful Medicine.